How you feel is a choice, choose happiness

How you feel is a choice, choose happiness

We can choose how we feel, so why not choose happiness?

Many people seem glued to emotions from the past, very often negative ones.

Someone hurt them and they keep holding on to anger, thoughts of revenge even.
They don’t see how that other person controls their emotions.
Just this week I had a conversation with someone struggling with it.
It clearly took out happiness from his days, adding physical discomfort like headaches.

So I asked him, why don’t you just let go and move on with your life?
Understand that every action from that other person will come back to him, it’s karma.
He replied that he couldn’t.

You can not or are not willing to

My question was if he couldn’t or wasn’t willing to let go.

A powerful question that changed everything for me when grieving over the loss of the man I loved wholeheartedly.
That question made me realize that the emotion, even one that brought many tears, subconsciously was the only think I had left from him. And that was the exact reason why I chose to hold on to it.
I am the one who allowed him to hurt me. Now it was time to stop allowing that and take my freedom back, my control.

That awareness made all the difference, it made me take back control over my emotions and my life. I decided I wanted to be happy again, but for that I had to be WILLING to let go.

It is amazing how, once you are willing, the process simply starts. Until one morning you realize you feel happy again and have forgiven the other for not being the person you had hoped he was.

Replacing of emotions

Any negative emotion can be replaced.

It is okay to feel emotions, positive and negative, but holding on to them too long IS a choice you make.
Don’t you deserve better?

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to die. You are the one that gets hurt, you block happiness by hanging on to anger.

Start looking around you, you ALWAYS will find reasons enough to feel good about. You woke up this morning, so many did not.
You can read this, so many can not. You may have a spouse who loves you, so many do not.
Do you get what I mean?

Love is the answer to everything

Love is the most powerful thing in life, it feeds ALL positive experiences you will ever have.
Open up your heart to love life, to understand why you have faced these challenges. It was an opportunity for you to grow as a person, to gain wisdom.

In a world that seems to get more violent, WE the people can only make a change in that process if WE, the people, change ourselves.
Those that hurt us need our love more than anyone else. You don’t have to allow them back into your life, that is a choice as well, but you can choose to forgive and let go, so your past will be your past and not your present or your future.

An eye for an eye has never worked. Revenge will never undo whatever happened.
And think of this, you are hurt by someone because of his behavior, do you want to get to an even lower level yourself?
If what the other person did was unfair, why would your actions suddenly be fair?

Forgiveness and love is the ONLY way forward that enables you to have a magnificent life. A life filled with love and happiness, even if you’d be single. Single doesn’t equal lonely after all. 🙂

So, if you are struggling with these negative emotions, be very honest with yourself in asking the question why you don’t want to let go.

You can choose to feel better, to feel differently, to feel positive, why not choose Happiness?

Happiness is an inside job. So, it always and completely depends on YOU. Choose happiness, just be happy!

Cross sponsoring

Cross sponsoring

Cross sponsoring, a hot topic in network marketing and cause of quite some frustrations.

Most network marketing companies will not allow it and have that in their terms & conditions.

What is it?

Cross sponsoring is actively infiltrating the network of one company to recruit for another company.
It is unethical, but most of the times will also put you in violation of the terms & conditions of your company.

My vision

For me it’s very simple, I will not actively approach people who are not in my personal downline to pitch them for another opportunity.

However, very often people already get upset when I talk with a mutual friend and feel that because they are friends with this person, I shouldn’t be talking with them.
Of course that is ludicrous. Being friends doesn’t make you own people. I believe the days people were owned are long gone.

If I see someone who used to be in my network sign up with someone else it tells me I need to improve on my skills. It is obvious that person prefers another sponsor.
I shouldn’t blame that other sponsor, I should look at my own behavior and improve to avoid these situations in the future.

Ethical prospecting

It isn’t that hard to be ethical in prospecting. When talking with someone that you would like to introduce to your business, it is a very easy question if they have already talked with someone else about it. One simple question that will avoid a lot of trouble.

If they did talk with someone else, the next question of course is if they know that person as a sponsor, ask about prior experience.
I’ve had people telling me that they had joined that sponsor twice before, but then were left on their own. That was the reason why they hadn’t signed up with that ‘old’ sponsor.
Freedom of choice and choose your sponsor wisely!

I welcome these people in my team. I do think that is ethical.

I do NOT like situations where people ask me all information, where I spend hours on that, then join someone else, but keep coming to me for support.
I will friendly tell them that they should work with their own sponsor. They could have had my full dedication but for whatever reasons choose not to have that.

Ethical prospecting means you have the best interest of a future team mate at heart.

Envy and politics

There is so much envy and politics in this industry. It becomes more clear after having been around for a while.
The ‘sis’s and bro’s’ are just an act. As long as you keep working for your sponsor it’s all good, but you shouldn’t ask questions or have them work for you….noooo, some will happily cash commissions and then are out of reach. THAT is unethical. THAT is recruiting and in no way any form of leadership, it’s lack of leadership.

Politics is also something… the badmouthing that is happening in this industry is shocking….and many fill their minds with gossip and drama, especially if it’s about people who have been more or less successful, while they are still making pennies.
I’ve learned to trust no one but myself. Everyone will get the benefit of the doubt, but I’m always on alert. I’ve learned not to expect high morals from cheap people. No ethics from those who consider everyone on their friendlist as their personal property.

Wake up: if you are that great a sponsor, people should be lining up to join you! If they don’t, do not blame anyone else but yourself.

Beautiful industry

Network marketing or MLM is a beautiful industry, if built with integrity and built by genuine people with the right intentions, which are NOT their personal bank accounts.
Again, it is not about you, it is about your team. It is a people business and a skills business. People are not numbers. People aren’t oranges that you can throw to the wall and see which ones will stick.

Sponsor responsibility

If you sponsor people, you have the responsibility to help and train them. There is no excuse for not having the time. If you don’t have time, you shouldn’t sponsor.
You should be in affiliate marketing then, simply sell, make commissions and have nothing to do with duplication in a team!

Love for this industry

I truly love this industry, or at least, what it is supposed to be: communities of people helping each other to get in life what is important to them. And by helping them, servant leadership, get more than you could ever have imagined!